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Heartwings Love Notes 289 - A Death In The Family

Heartwings says, “When we hear of someone’s death it can rekindle our own grief for lost loved ones.”

Laurence Van der Post once wrote, “There are some sadness's you never quite get over, but every now and then you go back, pat them on the head and say, ‘how are you doing, old fellow?” As I thought about several recent telephone calls from friends and family bringing news of the death of a loved one, these words came to mind.

It was in the late fall that my son Robin’s life quite unexpectedly ended. My father too passed away close to this time. Even though I have healed from both losses, news of the death of another’s loved one can create echoes of grief in my mind. This time of year also carries with it a sense of mourning. The decline of the light, the cold, and the often grim weather create a bleak backdrop for sad memories.

Yet with the recall of an old grief comes another opportunity for it to heal further. It is human to feel regret, to miss those who have departed this life, however it is also important to eventually move on. When I let it, with time sorrow can lose its ability to wound my spirit. The recall of grief can instead become an opportunity to honor the memory of the loved one with grateful reminiscence. In this way, while I cannot reverse the course of fate, I can make peace with it.

It may be that I never will get over either death completely. As other passing's of family or friends occur they too may add a toll of grief. The older I become the more people I will outlive. If I let myself I can continue to look endlessly backward and water my regret with whatever tears may spring to my eyes. Yet I can also plant new seeds of joy and happiness in the garden of my heart and water them with a sense of gratitude for the lives of my loved ones.

In time of loss may you discover happy memories to comfort you.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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