Heartwings Love Notes          

 

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Heartwings Love Notes 900 - Agreeing to Disagree

Heartwings says, "When there are things to discuss it is best to do so with respect for one another."

When Stephen and I first got together I told him that if our relationship were to last it must be based on honesty. As I explained it what that meant was that when one of us had negative feelings to express or were uncomfortable about something, that person must be able to talk about it freely. He agreed to this and our relationship just passed its forty second year.

Very rarely have we had what could be termed a fight. We do bicker, and we do discuss, and sometimes we need to just say, "I hear you," and let it go. No matter how much you may love them it is impossible to agree on everything with one's loved one. For instance, Stephen finds it easy to ignore his piles of various possessions, clothes, papers, etc.. He doesn't care how much they accumulate and though he may try to be neat, it's just not one of his priorities.

We differ radically on this. To my way of thinking, insofar as I am able to arrange it, there's a place for everything and everything goes into its place. This often creates opportunities for discussion between us. However, because frequent communication is the bedrock of a good relationship, this is good. Talking about how we feel keeps the feelings from piling up and becoming negative behavior. Mutual respect keeps conversation civil, and when we agree to disagree, love prevails and so does harmony.

Though you may not agree with everything a loved one says or does, when you love him or her wholeheartedly you can respect his or her opinions enough to allow him or her to keep them. That does not mean there is nothing to discuss, quite the contrary. It is also important to express your own feelings, though it is vital to do so with tact and caring rather than sarcasm and bitterness. The eyes and ears of love are kind.

May you share your feelings freely as you discover ways to keep the peace.

PS I'll be so happy to hear from you with any comments, questions or stories to share. Your emails make my day and I will always answer you as soon as I can.
 

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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