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Heartwings Love Notes 761 - The Eyes of Unconditional Love

Heartwings says, "When we look through the eyes of unconditional love we see much differently."

My dear mother had an inherited critical outlook on life. Her mother made frequent remarks concerning how she as well as others looked. In her eyes one's stomach was not supposed to be anything but flat as a pancake, one's waist slender, etc. I wondered why my mother wore a girdle when she was quite thin. Then I learned it was because bulges were not to be tolerated. She used to try with little success to get me to wear one. They were so uncomfortable, I wouldn't. Eventually she too stopped wearing them.

My father too had his viewpoint. Once I acquired them my eyeglasses became an issue. I can hear him now as he aimed the camera, saying, "Take off your glasses and look pretty." Thus whenever I was dressed up the glasses I wore from the third grade on became an issue for me, making me think I ought to take them off in order to look properly attractive. He was also particular about my hair, which was supposed to look smooth and symmetrical--properly arranged in a tidy manner.

My grandmother had very strong ideas about what it was to act like or to be a lady. When I was twelve, inspired by my first experience of being paid for it, I decided to earn money giving the puppet shows I wrote and performed for birthday parties. My grandmother quickly put an end to this, informing me that ladies didn't work. She gave me a twenty-dollar bill and said; "Now you don't have to earn money." She had grown up in a household where as she once told me, if a log rolled off the fire she rang for a maid to come and put it back.

The critical eye that I inherited from my family persisted for a long time. It took me years to become aware of it. Then I had to learn to stop the little voice in my head that called attention to whatever deviation from the "norm" of beauty I perceived. To begin with I applied this to my view of others. Gradually I learned to do this for myself as well. The eyes of unconditional love do not see critically but with an understanding that for good reasons we are all perfect just the way we are. These days the eyes I see through are my own, and I look out upon the world with love. As well, when I look in the mirror now, I smile.

May you learn to see through the eyes of love without conditions.
 

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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