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Heartwings Love Notes 946 - Letting Go Can Be Hard

Heartwings says, "The past remains in memory, not in reality."

Since we can only be alive in the present, dwelling on or in the past takes away from our present moments and keep us from fully living them. One way we do that is when we argue about behavior and say, "You always do such-and-such when…" Doing so is dragging the past into the present. Furthermore, an argument that dwells on or in the past will not get anywhere, but will keep going around in circles. It is better to say something more direct and to the point concerning whatever is under discussion.

As a wise person once said, we cannot change the past, only our attitude toward it. When we accept the past as it is, we can move on from it. It is also true that when the memory is a sad or cruel on, we may well need to comfort and reassure ourselves that we came through it all right. I remember reading a story in one of Laurens Van Der Post's books in which speaking of his experiences in a Japanese prison camp, he said, "Sometimes you have to go back and pat the memory on the head and say, 'How are you doing, old fellow?'" Then we can turn our minds from the past hurt and focus on present happiness.

Often too, we need to forgive ourselves for something we feel guilty for having done. Doing that makes it easier to move on from any piece of the past we may have clung to. Perhaps there is something we can do for someone to make up for whatever we might have done that we feel guilty or sad about. We may need to be sure we feel good about ourselves to move on. Once we do, it is easier to remain focused in the present moment. If necessary, speaking with a therapist may be of help.

There are rituals that can be used to generate forgiveness. Hawaiian Huna has one called ho'oponopono. It can be found on the internet. Stephen and I have used this with good results. Even consciously focusing on forgiveness, repeating the words, "I forgive…" can do the trick. Moving on means letting go of the past. As we do that to the best of our ability, we generate a happier more fulfilling present and a future that promises to be filled with joy. Working on our own happiness can also result in more happiness for those around us, making for a win-win situation for all.

May you find ways to make your present happier as you allow past hurt to fade.

PS Have you struggled to overcome sadness and difficult situations now in the past? I am always so happy to hear from readers how they may have coped or managed to help themselves. Please write me at tashahal@gmail.com, and do visit my website www.heartwingsandfriends.com for more Love Notes
 

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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