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Heartwings Love Notes 980 - Befriending Yourself

Heartwings says, "Treat yourself like you treat your best friend, and you'll be happy."

When you mess up in some way, do you scold yourself? Do you act and/or think in critical ways toward your actions, habits, achievements? If so, you are not alone. Most of us do. It's easy, and normally, it’s a habit we have acquired from those we grew up with who were in authority in our lives. Even contemporaries can contribute to the habit. I was a chubby child and not very athletic. My classmates, who valued good coordination and speed, found me a good subject for poking fun.

"I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me," known as the Too Fat Polka, was a popular song of the day. My contemporaries enjoyed teasing me with that song. To add to this, my mother had grown up with a mother who constantly harped on the importance of a slender figure. She had passed her attitude on to her daughter, so that she was highly critical of my looks. In addition, a slim waist was fashionable. Even at my most slender I did not have one of those. I also refused to wear the uncomfortable girdle my mother wanted me to wear.

As a result of these circumstances, for many years, whenever I looked in the mirror what I saw did not reflect what I actually looked like. Even today I have to take the old habit into account and look twice to be sure. These days, however, I am a better friend to myself than I used to be. I no longer act harshly toward myself when I make a mistake, drop something or bump into or trip over an object. I've learned to be compassionate and understanding toward errors in judgment or my lack of proprioception—being able to sense one's body in space and thus avoid tripping and bumping into others.

I have learned to listen to myself as I go about my day, making sure I have the same attitude toward myself that I do my best to have toward others. My goal is to treat myself as I would a good friend. This way I can catch any tendencies I may still have to be hard on myself or on others either. The child that dwells within us all, no matter how old we become, appreciates it when we have a kind attitude toward ourselves. He or she works hard to live up to the good image our attitude conveys as well. When I treat myself as I would treat a good friend, I feel ever so much better about myself as well as about life in general.

May you discover ways to become your own friend, and enjoy this important step toward wholeness.

PS Are you, my readers, learning to befriend yourselves? It's a learning and an unlearning process both. Let me know how you are doing and what you are thinking. Your emails are so special to me. Thanks for reading and responding.
 

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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